Once you have decided who owns the problem, there are certain skills that are appropriate for application to the problem.  Following are the skills listed under the problem ownership category.




Depending on who owns the problem, there are specific parenting skills that are the most effective.  Read the following explanation of skills under each problem ownership category so you become familiar with each skill.  They are listed in the same order as presented in Step Two. 

Under each category, discipline methods are presented from the least powerful to the most powerful.  Just because a discipline method is not as powerful doesnít mean it isnít the most effective method to use.  They all have their advantages and limitations.  The least powerful method that accomplishes the task is the most efficient.  Learning all of these methods will help you become a more effective parent. 

Applying these discipline methods is a skill.  Some of these skills you will already be very familiar with and know.  Others, you will not be as familiar with.  You can learn one skill and practice it until you have developed it before moving to the next, or you can mix and match as needed.  Remember that learning takes time.  Learning these skills is like learning to swim.  You  learn by doing.  Understanding the skill is important, but there is no substitute for doing it.  Most skills will feel uncomfortable at first.  You will make mistakes, and that is ok.  Mistakes are a part of the learning process.  You canít learn most worthwhile things without making mistakes.

So give yourself some credit for working on new skills and give yourself some grace when you make mistakes.  Being able to make mistakes opens up all kinds of doors for learning new things.  It can also make life much more fun.  So practice the skills and as you become more proficient, you will get to know your Child/Teen much better.  The more you know them, the more you can enjoy them.  Enjoying your Child/Teen is the most precious gift you can give them.

Learning and applying these skills can enhance your parenting immensely.  Being effective in parenting is one of the most fulfilling experiences in life.  These skills can help you achieve that experience.

There are some parenting challenges that need skills in limit setting, and some that do not.  Discipline is a broader concept than just setting limits.  Providing support is another aspect of parenting that is not discussed often enough.  In e-ParentCoach, you will be presented with skills that involve either/or and both aspects in the skill.  Each skill has a purpose so that we can Parent on Purpose and reach our parenting goals.  Additional information is provided to give you the knowledge to succeed.  This information is made available for you as you move through the Parenting Maze.



If you need additional help with a live Coach, you can call Earl Friesen, M.A. at (866) 471-1220

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